September

Here we are. A new month. A new season. And it feels like a new season. I don't mean in weather terms. I feel...stagnated, impatient, eager, keen, searching, hungry, yearning...but for what I don't yet know. Something is just out of my grasp, just about to appear on the horizon, when I see it, I'll know, but until then I'm fumbling in the dark. Things are changing. Suddenly the world seems like a big place again. The world isn't so much focused on Merseyside for me anymore. I ask myself why this is. People are moving, relationships are evolving. Abbi and Chris now live on the South Coast. Emm will shortly be in London. 3 extremely key relationships have shifted, and both Rich and I are having to adjust to that, it creates, or rather precipitates change. Change is necessary. Change is good. But sometimes it sucks. Things that both Rich and I relied on other people for we are now coming to rely on one another for, thus we as a unit are tighter and closer than ever, which is good. Manchester no longer feels so far away when once upon a time it really did. My perspective is shifting. Life seems too short and precious to waste worrying about mortgages and weight watchers and pension plans and job security and housing markets and accruing more annual leave through years of service..and yet the practical aspect of me that refuses to give up the ghost shouts louder...I don't know what it is I'm feeling....not discontent, not unhappiness, but perhaps a sense of there's still more to come. There's a plan, of that I feel certain. But as to what it is, I currently have no clue.