Could this family BE any cuter???!!!

Ladies and gentlemen......I give you.....THE WENHAMS!

(who - or is it 'whom'? - I love to the moon and back, several times)

old

I'm concerned I'm old before my time. Haven't been out for ages....simply ages I tell you. Not, like, on an all nighter-get-a-taxi-home-dance-until-you-drop-visit-the-lobster-pot-after-Walkabout kinda vibe. I miss those days (good grief Liz they were only a year ago, stop being so melodramatic) HANNAH! We need to get our party frocks on the go! Either that or we need to get our asses off to Tenereefee for some fun in the sun sans boys.....ooooh, is that allowed when you're married? Should I even WANT to go on holidays with just the girls now I am a wife?? I don't personally see why the heck not, but maybe there are, like, rules or something?!

I hate being old.

I am annoyed today because the freaking fridge/freezer is knackered. It's only 14 effing months old and quite frankly ought not to be on the blink, but it very much is. And what's the answer from the halfwits at Zanussi? "It's not under warantee" SO FREAKING WHAT!? If it were a toaster I could pick it up, put it in the car and take it to Comet (who are PANTS btw) and demand an exchange. So why are fridges different? The rule is, if it's damaged goods then you get a replacement right? So how come it applies to Topshop and not Comet.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and GAH at the injustice of it all. Plus, it cost £450 smackeroonies and is going to cost an estimated £357.56 to repair, which is obv. not worth it, so we should replace it, right? Only trouble is.......WITH WHAT!?

Don't forget the clocks tonight!

Well, that was the week that was! Busy doesn't even come close. However, here I am. Too tired to be D&M but a thought occurred to me this evening which made me feel powerful! For one hour tonight I am in charge of time! I can put my clocks forward whenever I like & by morning the rest of the world will have caught up! Get what I mean?? To test this feeling I have already changed the clocks in my house. Hence I am writing to you from the future. WHOA! HOW WEIRD IS THAT! Am I on drugs?!

Anyhoop - quick list of 'good stuff' to round off the week.....love y'all.....me xxx (PS divent forget ya mammas tomoz)

- Havin lunch with Abs, Hann, Keri and Anna today - good girly catch up and hilarious/over-loud conversation about Snuff movies and mucus plugs. Learn something new every day is all I'll say!

- Being in town today with the Derby buzz (Nice one Liverpool, slap on the wrist Gerrard!)

- Waking up at long last to birds singing!

- The sunshine

- Not wearing a coat for the first time this year

- Getting to the bottom of the washing basket

- Cutting my toenails

- Costa with my mama...and then Per Una and making her buy a GORG mac!

- Giving dad a lesson on ebay

- Making it through my first new work week - WOOT WOOT!!!!!

Ho hum...it's the little things in life!

For the Wenhams & Rikes!

Really I was just testin' to see if you were reading my blog! haha! Not really - have just been super-busy with the whole new job thang! Left NYAS on Thursday, shopped for new grown up work clothes on Friday and then spent the evening with 'me ma' and Jen (who has mermaid hair), Saturday was all about trying to recce out where my new office is with my lovely hubby, Sunday was all about the gym, Grand Prix & church and then here we are at Monday! First day over with - it went great - in the inimitable words of Annie, "I think I'm gonna like it here". Busy busy busy! Hence no time to blog, coupled with strict internet policy @ work!! Missin' the NYAS peeps but feel certain have made right decision. Woot Woot!

On a slightly more somber note, on Saturday night I managed to let down a very dear friend of mine. I feel gutted. It was a mixture of bad time keeping, being a bit dizzy and leaving my phone on silent and not hearing messages. I feel SO rubbish - got no idea how to resolve it. Funny how my 'professional' life is full of confrontation & problem solving and yet I am sometimes utterly devoid of either skill in my personal life. C&D - all I can say is I'm sorry and I love you.

Over & out xxxx

"The times they are a-changin'"

Wow I managed to not blog for a whole entire day! Wonders will never cease!

Nothing much to say really. The countdown has begun to the NEW JOB and I am bricking it slightly less than I was. Just hating the being 'in limbo' vibe.

One of my clients with whom I had worked for 12 weeks rather unexpectedly sent me a card. There is something so powerful in seeing yourself through someone else's eyes and grasping a little of how they see you. It's heartening and actually scary to think 'Wow, i helped you do all that?!' Kind of paradoxical to be pleased that someone doesn't need you anymore, at least in the world's eyes and this culture we perpetuate of needing people, but actually I guess that's what releasing someone is all about!

I'm off....time for peppermint tea. Oh, and if you haven't read Cate's latest blog entry I highly recommend that you do. Moving and challenging stuff. http://cate.my-expressions.com/

Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland!

We awoke yesterday to the marvel that is a proper snowfall - y'know, the kind we used to get in the 80's when Winter was Winter and you could scamper into the garden with wellies over your PJ's and hurl snow at your siblings until your hands were so cold they might fall off!!Well it snowed like that here yesterday! I was so excited at the prospect of wearing my wellies!Woo hoo!

The troops were rallied and in the manner of the Famous Five Rich, myself, Lucy and Gary and Johnny went on an adventure. We walked the Barnston to Thingwall trail and it seriously was like being in Narnia! Halfway there we paused to slide down the hill! Rich & Gary made friends with some young people and thus ended up having a go on their sledge. I say 'sledge', it appeared to be more like the spare tyre cover off of a Range Rover (??!!) Anyhoop, it made for an excellent sledge. The boys (all in their mid twenties I might add) made like Jack Ass and ended up eating a lot of snow! Luce & I recorded the moment for posterity.

After our walk we decamped to the pub for a hearty lunch and the Liverpool game - we lost GUTTED but excellent time was had by all. I think I've dicovered that that is the secret of Sundays. Usually I meander aimlessly through the day waiting for the inevitability of Monday morning and work to arrive. However, the secret appears to be actually getting out and doing stuff - puts you in a good mood and makes the day seem worthwhile!

In other news, happy 21st birthday little brother! Nice one Rupert!

Big love y'all,

me xxxxxxxxxxx

Jessica Mary Wall

Here she is! JMW, what a gal! Pictured here playing at Aunty Liz's and Uncle Rich's house holding Elvis the monkey and wearing Aunty Liz's wig! (She's a natural blonde)

Jessica loves animals, reading boooks, Disney films, playing in snow, and finger painting. Needless to say we get on great!

Just wanted you to meet her. She is part of why life is so amazing.

Hilarity!

Apparently a 30 year old woman was awarded an ASBO yesterday for playing 'Is this the way to Amarillo?' continually at inordinately high levels! Her neighbours are reported to be traumatised, whereas the culprit herself claimed that she did not think it was too loud! This in spite of the fact that she was given a Noise Abatement Order 3 years ago!

Needless to say her stereo has been duly confiscated.

This news snippet made my day yesterday. I wonder if Peter Kay knows?!

(If you haven't got hold of a copy of 'The Little Book of ASBOS' and find the rate at which they are awarded a phenomenon, not to mention the weird and wacky reasons for which they are given, then I suggest you get it! £2.99, WHSmiths!)

Musings

Ok, so here's what I'm currently pondering...Change is a big theme. Also endings. For both Rich and I, our current jobs will end soon - which means the end of familiarity and comfortableness (sp?) job-wise for a little while. I can't really remember how I felt when I moved from Capital of Culture to NYAS, but I'm certain the feelings of trepidation were just as profound! I'm also certain I'll feel at home in no time - we both will, in our respective new positions - it's just that initial few weeks. For me, I get so concerned with 'first impresisons' - I feel like there's a loud hailer in my mind yelling 'FIRST IMPRESSIONS LAST' I can't decide who I want to be in this new job. Think about it: the possibilities are endless! I can be whoever I want to be! Play any role. (Though there's a lot to be said for 'being yourself' - this is too important to play about with characters....or are they characters or simply just different expresisons of 'self'!? That's a whole other thought process!)

But I digress...So, I've decided I think change is good. I used to HATE, LOATHE and DETEST it but now I feel like I NEED it. I need something to shift! I've noticed myself of late being so lacksadaisical about life: no motivation to get off my backside and do anything! Be it exercise, going out, church stuff, even going to work. I feel as if I am living in a dreamworld where the only rules I have to follow are those I set myself and societal rules do not apply. I can't really explain it. I need something to shake me up and alter my routine so that I am forced to engage and bloomin well make some changes! I feel as if there's a whole new me on the horizon - kind of a caterpillar to butterfly moment. The drive and discipline I had last this time last year were amazing, and unlike anything else I've experienced before. Where did that go? How is it so temporary?! I remember so vividly the morning after our wedding (for obvious reasons but that's not what I mean), we had breakfast and I recall heading toward the fruit and yogurt health section and then thinking 'Hold on, the wedding's over, I can eat like a normal person again!' and headed to the 'Full English' section. Pretty much have not stopped since. I was moaning at the nurse who administered my pill injection the other day that it was making me fat. She explained - rather curtly I might add - that it was because I was happy. 'You'll be fat for the first year because you're happy, then you lose it in the second year and then you'll have your children'

She ACTUALLY said that, as if getting married is some sort of foregone conclusion! I nearly threw up on the spot! So happiness, according to the NHS, is equated with gluttony! NO NO NO!
I will NOT be that girl! In my mind's eye I saw myself getting older in that computer generated way like on 'Honey we're killing the kids'!!!!!!

Isn't the mind a funny thing! About once a year when I feel like this, I read Anna Maxted's 'Running in Heels' - a chick lit novel by anyone else's standards, but I absolutely love it. I identify with it so much and I love that it's full of hope. I finished it last night and suddenly I feel so much more hopeful about life and taking control of my own, myself. No-one else can do that, it's NOT a foregone conclusion.

Maybe it's something to do with Spring being on the way- I'm coming out of the sleepy, hibernation stage....who knows, but anyways, change is most certainly on the way and I for one cannot wait to embrace it with open arms and all the new beginnings and 'life shifts' it'll bring.

Gosh that was a long rant....

Rich

Congratulations Rich!

My clever hubby got a new job!! Woo hoo! This has been the subject of much prayer and seems like it's been a long time in coming, but yeehaw it's happened! How cool is that!?

Happy New Job, Mr. Hilbre High School! Boy are they lucky to have you!! ;)

Smug

Oh yes I am! Last night. Dinner party. 5 hour slow roast beef a la Jamie Oliver. Boy am I ever pleased with myself! Not that it was hard to cook, au contraire, but it looked fancy schmancy and tasted gorg even if I do say so myself!

Buying the 'beef topside' was funny - I went to a real butcher's and everything. Cue headless bigs hanging by their trotters. Scuse me while I puke.

Oh and we FINALLY got curtains in the living room - thanks pa!!

All in all quite a good weekend....despite being too ill to go to the launch of 'Mwah, Mwah' @ Blu Bar on Friday on account of the delightful Jessica Wall, aged 2 and a half, headbutting me in the mouth so that my teeth bled and my lip swell on one side to collagenic (sp?) implant proportions. Nice look for me. Not. She did at least have the decency to look shocked, little kids sure have hard heads!!!! I felt like I'd been beaten up! So instead I spent Friday watching American Idol. Welcome to my latest addiction. Kellie Picjler to win! Why are Americans so much funner to watch than Brits???????

I'll leave you with that thought.

A bientot.

Rich goes wild in Narnia

And finally, here is the lovely Mr Wall in all his Tumnus finery! Notice the attention to detail if you will, particularly the pointy beard vibe! Oh what fun we had! There's not really too much I can write - I think the pictures speak for themselves!

Further Adventures of Narnia

Here we have myself and Aunt Susan both as the White Witch. I am the White Witch when she first meets Edmund, and Sue is the White Witch in the Battle - hence the aforementioned Polar Bear Chariot!

The next pic is of my beautiful sister Jen who is the ORIGINAL Lucy, all dressed up in her evacuee clothes, ready to head to the country to stay with Professor Diggory Kirke and discover Narnia!

What fun!

The World of Narnia!

Here they are at last! Narnia pics for you to enjoy!! This first one is (from left to right) my wonderful husband Mr Tumnus, then Chris as Aslan, who is married to Abbi aka the lampost and then Hann, who is very fond of the band KISS!! Just joking, she was a fairy out of the book 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' which, it may surprise some of you to learn, came before movies!

How good do they look! More to follow....

EN-GER-LAND!

In preparation for the World Cup I have been trying to make a serious effort to understand this whole football malarkey. Came across this, and I have been reliably informed by one of my most knowledgable about football friends, Mr Gary Kennaugh, that it is a pretty accurate description of the concept that often eludes most women: The Offside Rule.

He says "Now translate shop assistant for goalie, person in the queue as a defender and purse for ball and there you have it." Now read the following:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Wait for it.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes. Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Good hey! Do you totally get it now?! In he words of Gary Kennaugh with acknowledegement to Rik Flair, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Gah, I soooooooo need to learn to trust the Lord more! EVERYTHING I am currently stressing about seems to have been or on its way to being utterly resolved. Hallelujah. I find it a bit crazy that God cares about mad stuff like Stamp Duty refunds or wedding pictures, but apparently He does! (or maybe, says a little voice inside my head, He cares about ME! hence the things that are important to me are important to HIM!) Well anyways, I totally don't get how it works but all I know is I have absolute peace and rejoicing in my heart right now and wanted to spread the love a little!

Peace out homies xxxxx

Johnny Two-Times

Whilst I'm waiting for pics of Narnia to come back, I thought I would introduce you to one of my most favourite people ever in the whole wide world amen.

This is Johnny. He likes flowers, as you can see, and Dog Eggs, and snooker, and intelligent conversations, and beers, and cd's and winning, and chemical engineering, which is good because he is one.

He's available for Bar Mitzvahs, Weddings, Horse racing events, and general dates.

Call Toll Free on 1-800-oneofthem to book him. Oh, and he does very good wedding speeches (but be warned, he is not above taking the p*ss out of the Bride..!!)

Narnia

Well the party, quite simply, rocked! Very well done indeed to Mr & Mrs Beaver for hosting such a delightful event! In the end, I went as the White Witch and actually sewed, yes SEWED, my own costume! Was a tad rushed as I didn't start it until about 2pm on the Saturday - the party was @ 7:30pm. But the result was fab (even if I do say so myself!) Thank God for tacking stitch! And Rich looked fabulous as Mr Tumnus - pics to follow, PROMISE!

Highlights included: Aunt Susan's polar bear chariot, Jen being there as Lucy, mum winning 'Pin the Tail on the Centaur', Hanny's 'KISS' makeup and fairy costume, Jack making the perfect Edmund, haz's amAZING Aslan mane, Abs as the lamp post, Murph as Aslan, my dad as the Wardrobe maker, having a 'Monica' episode during the Narnia Quiz, the costume parade in the kitchen and the requisite family sing-song after midnight - cue the 7 part harmonies of 'You are my Sunshine'!! Much fun had by all!

Happy 30th Birthday Kath...your prezzie is on the way!

"Little children just don't know when to stop pretending"

So says Edmund of Lucy in the awesome movie that is Narnia! In preparation for tomorrow's Narnia Party Extravaganza, chez Heywood, Rich and I journeyed to Hollyoaks' cinema to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe today. The purpose was not to only to see the movie but to get ourselves suitably whipped up to appear at the party in full costume! Oh yes, Mr Richard Wall shall go to the ball....as the one, the only...Mr Tumnus! And he is very happy about it, as you might imagine!

I myself am finding it difficult to decide between the white witch and Lucy Pevensie. Tough call hey!

Anyhoop - I'm certain you will have all seen the film by now so I shan't go into details but suffice to say I adored it. My only criticisms were (i) the slightly American dialogue "We'll bring mother home a dress" Er...no, you'll 'take a dress home for mother', "Pretty please" and "hey, hey, hey" which I'm fairly certain didn't enter the average British vocabulary until the onset of Chandler Bing circa 1995 and also (ii) the fact that Maugrim spoke with a cheesy American accent. Apart from that TOP DRAWER FILM!

Can't wait for the next one!

"For Narnia....and for Aslan!"

Ooh PS - Manchester posse - HOW MUCH does Susan Pevensie look like our own Ulrike Hirsch!

Thought of something!

Can't believe I didn't think of this straightaway to blog about. Hmmm, is 'to blog' an actual verb now? Hmm, note to self, ponder further on that later!

Anyhoop...last night I went on an adventure with the Heywoods: Kathy, Andy & Alf (also known as Dougie) plus a Ballinger, (Aunt Hilary) and 3/4 of Barnes': Sue plus Jack and Haz, (also known as Brett & Dexter ??!!)

We ventured to Salford Quays, to The Lowry more specifically, to feast our eyes and ears upon the true delight that is Matthew Bourne's production of Edward Scissorhands. Nothing I could write could really do it justice, it was tres magnifique, super-cool and formidable all at once. The set, the costumes, the choreography, the score, the guy who danced Edward (YUM!), the lighting, the cheerleaders that came to life from posters, the Christmas party scene, the BBQ scene, the girl's santy outfit, the theatre itself, the fact that there's a costa al dentro, hanging out with the fam, Harry's comment of 'Bob Marley, is he out of Scrooge?', the cousins changing their names, Jack's ghost stories, Alf's one liners, Aunt Susan's theatre coat, the fact that Vincent was there, chocolate limes as a tribute to Nanny Ballinger and a whole host of other remarkable things made for a truly fabulous night out.

IF YOU GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE EDWARD SCISSORHANDS: DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!